Renae and Steven's story

Our journey as foster carers began 15 years ago. In the space of six months, our family of two grew to become a family of six.

After hearing about foster care on the news, we enquired with an agency. When we met with them, they asked how serious we were. At that stage, we just wanted to learn more. The lady we were talking to at the time provided us with some information to get us started on our application journey. After hearing about how many kids needed a home, we knew that we had to do something.

After months of training and assessment, we became foster carers. We took on few short break placements over a few weekends, which helped us ease into it and to understand what is was all about.

One evening while I was pregnant, living in Darwin with my husband away with the Army, I received a call about these four children – all siblings – who needed a placement. They were apparently frightened and scared of being split up. After being asked if we were prepared to take them in, I instantly knew the answer was yes.

Happy excited children having fun at home

That night I asked them if they wanted to bunk all together in one bedroom. They did. And for dinner they asked for McDonalds, of course. The small things are important; like giving them choices over things, some control.

We’ve probably cared for more than 50 kids during our time as carers. Some because their parents weren’t quite capable of caring for them at the time, others because they were deemed to be in a position of danger.

Being a foster carer is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. Seeing the happiness on their faces makes it worthwhile, especially with the young ones at Christmas time. All of a sudden, they wake up on Christmas morning and there are presents there for them to open. It is a special feeling to see children of any age experience things for the first time.

When you’re a foster carer, you do see some of the best and worst things in life. We had one little girl who came in the middle of the night. She had been removed by the police. It was a pretty bad situation. She didn’t handle being around men, so my husband had to take a step back and let me handle things. She didn’t like loud noises or people laughing. She was also very malnourished. All she wanted to do was eat. We had to change the way we served meals in the house to help her cope, so we provided her with frequent small meals.

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I remember she dropped a toy off the table and ran away and hid because she thought she was going to get in trouble. We cared for that little girl, just a toddler, for five months. By the end she would sometimes laugh. She would sometimes smile. But then she would look around as though she was about to be punished for laughing.

Our home at the moment can be chaotic. We have our three plus two little girls aged 18 months and two. We always talk to our kids before taking anyone in. When a new child arrives, I’ll make sure they have photos of their families in their room, so they feel connected.

We celebrate their big milestones, the first steps, their first birthdays and so on. It makes them feel cared for and stable. It’s one of the most rewarding things you could ever do. I wouldn’t give it up for anything. But you need to take the time to sit down and think about it.

Talk to your own kids. Talk to your extended family. Do your research. Have an understanding of what being a foster or kinship carer involves.  Go in with your eyes open

*To protect the identities of the children and carers in these stories, names and images have been changed.

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